Not a ninja, mostly

Well, it’s pitch black in the hallway, but I don’t care. Someone like me doesn’t rely on a single sense to navigate, ha! I’m a cat. I’m a bat. I’m a highly trained ninja stalking his prey and there is but a single outcome for him. I know every square inch, every tile in this OWWWWWW!!!!

What the hell was that? (Better turn on the light.)

Oh, huh. Amazon boxes waiting to go out to the recycling. Man, what’s in these things, they’re HEAVY. That’s going to hurt tomorrow, I hope I didn’t break anything, I kicked that pretty hard. I’d better turn the light back off and limp carefully to bed.


Ah yes, the darkness: my ally. I’m silent, I’m the impartial spectre of death come to inspect his evening’s work. The painful throbbing in my right foot is nothing compared to OWWW, SHIT!!! THAT HURT, WHAT IS THIS NOW? (I guess I’d better turn the light on again. Sigh.) Ugh, this stupid rope toy ends up everywhere, I wish one of those dogs would just chew it up once and for all. Oh well. Down the steps and off to sleep. Lights off, kids.


I slip once again into the silky night and savor the silence and can sense the pulse of my own heart beating. A few more steps, and I’ll be able BANG (barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark) (Ow) to walk into this closed door because my bedroom door is closed for the first time ever for some reason. Probably the fan blew it closed when I was out in the kitchen.

Man, it’s hard to embrace the shadows when a chihuahua is gently biting your foot with every step you take.