I accidentally held down my iPad’s button while I was walking around with it and the Siri thing came on to ask what she could help with.

At exactly the same time, I spotted a sock of mine on the floor that one of the dogs had just chewed up, and I said, “Assholes!” Siri said, “There’s no need for that.” Like I woke her up just to swear at her.

(I almost stopped to explain myself. The future is weird.)

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