You ever go to the craft store to shop for Halloween costume supplies for your kid, and on the way in you notice the early holiday decorations for Thanksgiving and Christmas and you take a deep breath and silently tell yourself, “I’m not going to judge everyone, I’m not going to judge everyone,” but when you’re standing in the checkout line, you notice that the people next to you with the baby named “Frasier” have a cart full of Christmas stuff and it’s their cashier on the store intercom yelling, “We need Christmas Tree A as in Alpha to register two, that’s A as in Alpha to register two!” and multiple generations of this family are hunched over and rubbing their hands together and going, “Christmas Christmas Christmas!” (like pretty much literally, except for Frasier, who sat in quiet reflection about the cashier repeatedly calling Him a Her), and you realize that they’re actually buying their Christmas tree and getting all set up not just before Thanksgiving, but before even Halloween, and as the older gentleman with the white hair, blue beard and Hellboy-red skin gives you the evil eye as he walks by the Thanksgiving supplies near the front, all at once it dawns on you that the current environment laughably exceeds the capacity of your not-judging muscle, but just as you prepare to give in and let it wash over you it gets really quiet internally for a couple of seconds and everything seems peaceful like when Neo wakes up in the first Matrix movie, so you just pay for your assorted blood-colored acrylic paints and get the hell out of there?

I mean, I can’t say it’s ever happened to me, *cough*, but I can probably imagine it happening.

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