I was just forwarded a ‘neighborhood watch’ email about a recent identity theft in the area. It feels too early to read anything like that but I opened it anyway.
It was unusually vague, like “Between October 2013 and June 2014 an unknown person assumed the identity of a victim.”

I actually like and appreciate the neighborhood watch and our block captain is cool, and I respect and understand that they don’t give the name and home address of the victim. At a certain point, there’s not much left to pass on though, so you wonder what you are supposed to take away from it. It reminded me of Catch 22 when bored soldiers in the infirmary were censoring letters home and would just cross out all the nouns.

Then at the bottom, there was a link to the neighborhood lost and found website, which I originally thought was part of the same warning and I wondered about it for a second. Maybe that was the place to visit if you had lost your identity or found someone else’s. I even considered clicking because maybe my identity had been lost and I didn’t even know it, and maybe it would be really cool to find it again and then I’d be complete in a way I didn’t realize I ever could be. But I’m reasonably happy with my identity as it is now–flawed though it may be–so then I figured I’d probably just leave it unclaimed even if I found out it was there, even though it would still be good to know where the identity that I didn’t realized I’d misplaced had actually ended up.

Then I remembered that link is at the bottom of every neighborhood watch email. (Like I said, it’s probably too early to be going through email.)