I use free Pandora so I get commercials from time to time. Sometimes I tune them out, sometimes I look. I was cooking breakfast and heard something that sounded like an action movie preview so I leaned to see what it was. It was just another video game preview, and it had big words going across the screen, like “Attack” and “Destroy” in some kind of hard to read robot-font.

I misread one of them as “Defriend” (it said “Defend”) and I though it was a funny idea, like you’re in a giant robot war with other giant robots and everyone is attacking and destroying and suddenly someone goes, “Damn it, BOZAR 74B, we said no photon torpedoes, now you photon torpedoed me and I’ve got to go get my shit polished before work tomorrow. I am TOTALLY defriending you.”

And all the other giant robots kind of hang their heads and avoid eye contact because it’s always awkward to witness a defriending.