My final client, the one that’s “phasing me out” (wahoo!), just started using “task management software” to try to reign in their workflow. So now, instead of long periods of silence followed by intense bursts of activity where everything needs to be done in 30 seconds or less, I get 50 emails a day regarding every project they’re ever going to do again until the end of time, plus related, but slightly different, notifications in my “control panel.”

However, since I still need the same things I’ve always needed to get projects done, and from the same people, this new constant constant stream of notifications is still followed by long periods of silence, then intense bursts of activity where everything needs to be done in 30 seconds or less. Now with wayyyyyy more emails.

If I was the kind of person that believed in signs and portents, this would be the portent-equivalent of John Leguizamo dressed in a poorly made monkey suit kicking things in my office over and playing an accordion as loud as he could and singing/screaming “YOU NEED TO QUIT LALALALALA” over and over until I finally paid attention.

Message received, monkey-suit John Leguizamo. Message received.