I’ve come to hate the term “e-blast” or “email blast.” Who comes up with this stuff?

Monopoly dude: You know our customers, right?

Guy like me: Yeah, sure.

Monopoly dude: It’s time to bring them… another E-Blast!!!!

Guy like me: “Blast?”

Monopoly dude: Yeah – like we’re going to bring EXTREME VALUE to them.

Guy like me: In blast form?

Monopoly dude: Totally. It’ll be like this INTENSE BLAST OF VALUE, but RIGHT IN THE EFFING FACE.

Guy like me: You want to shoot your potential customers in the face? With value?

Monopoly dude: TO THE MAXXX!!!!