I think this whole sudden cultural infatuation with zombies is a metaphor for learning how to say no. Like the zombies are the people you need to say no to and if you don’t clearly ‘whack their heads off with shovels,’ i.e. give them a firm NO, then they’ll just keep coming and eventually not-metaporically eat your brains.

I hope that in a weaker moment I don’t mix my metaphors and whack someone in the head with a shovel instead of just saying “no” when I should. Sort of.